We go through life not asking important questions because
we are chicken- baby- cheese- cakes and don’t want to hear the word “no”.
We’re afraid to ask for a raise, afraid to ask the teacher for extra credit work, afraid to ask for a discount, afraid to ask for a loan so we can pay off our mortgage and save money, afraid to ask the cute girl to have lunch.
What if the say “NO”? It’ll be terrible, devastating, crushing. My life will be horrible and I’ll self com-bust in embarrassment.
Actually, most of those things won’t happen when somebody tells you “no”. I’ve been working to convince myself and my kids that hearing “no” really isn’t that big a deal or so terrible. Not asking, however is just stupid.
When people tell us “no” our lives actually don’t change much. “No” just means we’re still right where we were before we asked. So, most of the time, there’s nothing to lose when you ask for something.
I’m always always telling the kids, “What’s the worst thing that can happen if you ask?”
“She’ll say no.”
That’s it and that’s not really so bad. And you probably have a fifty/ fifty chance folks will say yes to your request. But they won’t say yes… if you don’t ask.
I’m in sales and I hate it when people won’t man-up and tell me “no. I’d rather have them say”no, I’m not buying your crap” than hem and haw, string me along and waste my time. I can take hearing “no”. so go on and say it so I can move ahead and find some folks who will say yes.
Asking for something is kind of like apologizing. Worrying and fretting about it can be crippling, then, once you do it you realize it wasn’t a big deal at all.
I want to teach my children not to be afraid of the word “no”.
“Can I have a job?” “No”
“Can I have some money?” “No”
“Will you do my homework for me?” “No”
“You want to go out on Friday?” “Sure”
See, “no” isn’t the end of the world…and sometimes folks say yes.
Tags: Ask, bravery., fear