Working Out For Boobs

working outAttention: If you are under forty you don’t need to read this one.

Recently, I realized once you hit 45 your entire mind set changes about working out, exercise and fitness. Because I am a woman in America, and I have been for quite a while, I started worrying about weight and shape and working out when I was probably four years old.

Actually, those “I must be hot” self improvement thoughts first exploded into my head when I slow danced with a boy named Steve Weatheral in 6th grade. In the words of Marsha Brady, “he was so dreamy.” Steve had the 1970′s swoopy dirty blond hair and he hummed while we danced to  Love will Keep us Together by  The Captain and Tennille. (There next big hit was Muskrat Love)

We were both invited to a swim party the next weekend and I really wanted to find a way to grow boobs before the weekend.

Once a girl starts thinking about improving her body…..it never stops. Bigger hips, smaller butt, better calves, flatter tummy, bigger boobs, sleeker arms, thinner thighs.  We are an ongoing work in progress. We are just like the construction projects my husband starts at our house but never finishes. The needs, plans, wants and desires are constantly changing so the project is never finished.

Until that day between 45 and 55. You suddenly realize your “uber hot” days are probably gone. Sure the 70 year old man at the YMCA still hits on me when I’m doing leg presses but I’m no long subconsciously working out all the time in order to attract a mate. I’ve got a mate, he’s the guy who never finishes our kitchen modeling project. And he doesn’t care if I gain fifteen pounds. In fact he likes the extra weight because it makes my boobs get bigger.

The truth is I do want to be hot again, like I was at 26….but that’s probably not going to happen.

So, I now lift weights now because I like muscle definition. I’m competitive and want to do things other people can’t.  I work out because I have the brain of a junky and I really like the endorphins.  I train in Martial Arts because I love my Taekwondo family and don’t want to stop hanging out with them. Recently I started running again because I want to brag and tell people I run 5ks.

I’m still doing almost exactly what I did 20 years ago but my motivation has changed.  I don’t work out to get a man, I’m way past that. And apparently I’m even more shallow and childish than I was at 13.

 

2 Comments

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2 Responses to “Working Out For Boobs”
  1. Dick says:

    You are nuts girl

  2. Wendy says:

    love your blog!! you are a beautiful, strong, amazing woman, and more importantly, a fantastic mom and role model to your kids!! HUGS!!